Friday afternoon...
"Okay, so we'll have our call on Monday at 2pm, correct?" "Yes, that's correct." "Great, I'm looking forward to it." "Me, too! Bye." "Bye." Monday at 1:59pm... Email calendar invite sent from host of meeting we were supposed to have at 2pm (in one minute) asking to reschedule for tomorrow... Recipient's reply email... "In coordinating our phone call meeting for today at 2pm I shared that I was unavailable Tuesday through Thursday of this week, and Friday was the only other option, besides Monday, today. Now, one minute before our scheduled meeting you want to reschedule it? ...and for a time that I already told you doesn't work! This is not in good form." ---------------- This scenario plays out a lot. Too often in my opinion. The above depicts a first-time phone call meeting appointment between two business professionals. The host of the call, who asked for the call and was involved in coordinating the date and time, backs out at the last minute. I understand that emergencies come up. When they do, explain that, people are more understanding than you think, but to simply change the meeting time with only an electronic calendar invite for a day and time when the other party already expressed they're unavailable, is just lazy and unprofessional. If I can impart one piece of professional business advice on you, it's that if you actually do what you say you're going to do when you say you're going to do it, you will raise your professional credibility above most others. Unfortunately, most people say they will do something and then they don't follow through. I do get that things come up and that happens as an exception to the rule. It's at that time that you need to offer clear, explicit communication to the other party to help them understand that you do honor their time in spite of plans changing, and that you are not trying to be inconsiderate. Then be aware of when the other party mentioned they are available and reschedule at that time -- accommodate them with the reschedule because you're backing out at the last minute and making them accommodate you, now. Posted by: Nick Venturella
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I recently saw a video interview on DifferentBrains.com with Stephen Shore, Ed.D.- who is an author, autism advocate, professor at Adelphi University and actually autistic.
In the video he spoke about autistic individuals finding employment. This is of interest to me because I have a son on the autism spectrum and I’m always trying to educate myself to better the work I’m doing on AutismHR.com. The information that Shore shared is something true for autistic individuals seeking meaningful employment, but also true of anyone seeking meaningful employment, or the means to a fulfilling profession. I’m paraphrasing a bit here, but the essence is, that when interest, skill and ability intersect that’s the recipe for a happy, productive life. I encourage you to check out that post/video interview here. Shore eloquently summed it up, in my opinion. I would only add that one needs to continuously work at discovering who s/he is and be self-aware to help constantly course-correct their path to a happy, productive life. I believe this because as time passes often our interests, skills and abilities evolve, grow and change. Sometimes those interests, skills and abilities develop over time in far different directions from where they originated. That’s okay if you continue to have a solid relationship with yourself and figure out what you need and want to remain focused on your main directional heading — North, toward Happy and Productive. “What about the money?” You say. Yes, people need to make a certain amount of money from their work to cover the basic necessities of human living, and other financial obligations/saving for the future. But, if you’ve figured out what your intersection of interests, skills and abilities looks like to produce a happy and productive life for yourself you will remain motivated by that to put in the time and effort to figure out how to create income from it. If the passion is there and you put in the work, you can find the money. It won’t be easy, but it is possible. However, if you’re not interested in being happy and productive and you don’t know where your interests, skills and abilities intersect then you will most certainly have a hard time finding fulfillment from whatever money you are able to earn. Posted by: Nick Venturella
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I have a thought that fear is just anxiety about the unknown.
We get worked up about different things that may or may not happen, but the anxiety of not knowing whether or not those fears will come to fruition is the part that tends to drive people crazy — myself included. Funny thing happens though when you embrace your fear and instead of trying to avoid it, head straight for it and threw it. It’s this mindset that allows you to overcome, or at least accept, whatever outcome results from your actions, in the face of your anxiety. This is far easier said than done, but if you can learn to harness your fear and turn it into positive energy you push through your fear instead of going around it, and come out on the other side in tact. or reasonably okay or equipped enough to adjust to whatever the outcome is, even if it was not what you wanted it to be. You gain a sense of accomplishment, a sense of confidence, that builds on itself overtime to a point where you aren’t afraid to be anxious. I am not suggesting to numb yourself out so you don’t have anxiety or fears anymore, but more so being able to recognize that anxious old friend, identify it, label it and view it for what it is without allowing it to be a bigger deal than it needs to be. One way I used to deal with being anxious was to carry around a pocket journal, and every time I was anxious about something I would write down what I was anxious about. Just releasing it from my brain immediately helped the anxiety to subside and that was just enough to take the edge off to move through the fear and leave it behind me. Perhaps this could work for you, too. Posted by: Nick Venturella
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You set out to write every day, or draw, or create music, or something else to hone your craft, but once you get started it's hard to maintain momentum and motivation towards regular output over time.
Is this a mental roadblock or more of a physical time and space hurdle? Sure, it takes time management, and like everyone else, you're very busy with other things. However, you do understand that like anything you know you need to do, you find a way to do it. For example, I need to pay my bills every month and somehow I always make sure that I do. So why does trying to find the time to consistently be involved in your creative practice seem harder than ensuring your bills are paid regularly? Again, I come back to the idea that this seems more of a mental problem to be solved versus a true time management problem. Although, I do think the two are linked in that if you can't get into the right mindset it's going to be very difficult to find the motivation to appropriately manage your time to fit your creative practice into your daily life. Great, so we've identified that it's a mental problem versus a physical time and space problem, so what can you do about it? Think of a time when you felt creatively energized. What were you doing that gave you that kind of energy? Do that. It may not be quite that easy. If not, think of things to clear your mind? For some, this might be taking a walk or working out -- something to get the blood flowing and endorphins firing. For others it might be doodling while you're watching TV or listening to music, or simply meditating quietly for a few minutes. I often like to aimlessly noodle on the guitar. The point is, try to do something that clears your head so you're not trying to force the creativity as much as your are inviting creativity in. You're trying to clear your mind to get out of your creativity's way. One thing you can do is write daily. I mean with a piece of paper and a pen, and simply write whatever comes to your mind, even if it's nonsense (you don't have to show this to anyone -- it's just an exercise for you). Set a timer for 5 minutes and do this daily for an entire month. I guarantee you're going to have transcendent moments where you feel like you've unlocked something great inside your creative mind. Or if you are a visual arts kind of person take on the same 5 minutes a day challenge with drawing -- draw whatever objects are in front of you for 5 minutes a day for a month. Then see how you feel. It can be tough to start and sustain a creative habit to help your creative muscle grow, but even 5 minutes a day is better than no minutes a day, and who can't come up with 5 minutes a day? The cool thing is that this is not exclusive to creative people. The 5 minutes a day idea can help anyone get started building a regular positive habit that helps your mindset. The whole purpose is to get you into, or at least better your chances of getting you into, that highly energized, motivated, happy, healthy state of mind that allows you to think and perform at your best. It won't happen every time, or even every other time, but you increase your chances of hitting that highly energized state the more you engage in such a practice. And over time you'll get there more easily, frequently and sustain it longer -- all because you had the discipline and patience to conquer mind over matter. Posted by Nick Venturella
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I like writing as an expressive creative practice because it takes little too almost no equipment, which allows one to quickly and easily catch their inspiration when it strikes.
…and that’s the main point of having a creative practice — to regularly practice using your creative muscle and being poised and ready to capture inspiration when it hits. Simply grab a sheet of paper and a pen, or in our modern times your iPhone and the Notes app where you can even dictate what you’d like to write and have it written out — that’s how this post originated for me. The point is, writing is an accessible creative muscle-builder with very little barriers of entry. Thus, there is really no excuse for not working in some way on your creative practice.
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Posted by Nick Venturella
"I feel like I'm having a heart attack! I can't breathe. My heart is racing ."
"I'm here to help. You're not dying. Let's focus on slowing down your breathing." Later... "What was that?" "You were having a panic attack. I've had them before. It feels like you're having a heart attack, but there's really nothing physically wrong with you. It's just a physical reaction to your mental and emotional state. Do you have any understanding as to why you would have a panic attack? Are you stressed, overwhelmed, upset about something?" "Yes, yes and yes." ------------------------------------- Don't Panic, Take Action Have you ever had a feeling, or a situation pan out like the one described above? I know I personally have. I was in a job years ago that was not an ideal fit. I took it when it was offered to me due to my own desperate circumstances at the time -- my wife and I just moved and she was months away from giving birth to our first child. That job took an emotional toll on me, to the point that I felt physically ill on a regular basis. Unfortunately, I think this same scenario is true of many people. Perhaps even you. For me, I was denying myself the ability to be myself in any recognizable form by being in that job. That job and the organization I was working for at the time didn't really allow it. They took several measures to squelch individuality. As a result it was extremely damaging to my spirit, motivation, psyche and personal relationships. I knew something had to change, but I was unsure how to change it, and I unfortunately knew that change wouldn't happen all at once like I wanted. Building Small Positive Habits So, I promised myself that I would do at least one thing every single day that was an effort to move me into a new job away from the organization and position I was currently in. I started reading -- daily -- what I used to consider very cheesey positive affirmations and related books. Over a short period of time the effect of this was clear to me -- it worked to help move past my negative mindset. I carried around a small pocket sized notebook to use as an anxiety journal. Every time I started to feel anxious I would pull out the notebook and quickly jot down what I was feeling anxious about. Releasing it from my brain proved to be very beneficial. Then on my lunch hours and in the evenings -- long evenings taking care of my newborn son -- I sent out job resumes, connected with professional contacts via email and social media to make forward progress on my goal of leaving that job for something that would allow me to be more authentic. Why Protecting Your Authenticity is Not Selfish From the moment I made the commitment to myself, my wife and my young growing family that I was going to positively change my employment circumstance, it took me almost 8 months of grinding it out, everyday. However, I had an interview with a small entrepreneurial HR software organization that went well. I don't even really remember the interview process -- I was so exhausted and running on adrenaline at the time, but I do remember mustering all my energy to present myself and my marketing portfolio of work. Later, my boss who hired me, told me that I was the only candidate that came in with a portfolio of work examples to share. He said the candidate race wasn't even close after he met me. Wow, that felt good! Getting hired at that job, at that moment in my life, helped me turn the corner on what I was capable of if I relied on my authentic self. That situation made me realize that I'm most successful when I'm my authentic self (I'm not necessarily speaking about monetary success, but that follows when you truly are who you are and you protect that). I learned that it's not selfish to protect your ability to play to your strengths and be your authentic self so you can stay positive, productive and happy for yourself and those you care about -- it's a necessary survival skill. Posted by: Nick Venturella
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Some days are better than others.
In my past, I had a boss that used to say, "Bring your best everyday, no matter what 'your best' is that day." That really stuck with me, and I now tell others that as well. The idea is to put forth whatever amount of positive energy is the best you can give that day, knowing that some days 'your best' will be better than other days. Like you, and everyone else, I'm human, so that means we experience life and an array of information and emotions that have an effect on us and how we interact in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm running on all cylinders and everything falls into place smoothly, and other times I can't seem to do anything correct. So far, today has been a day where I can't seem to get things together. I've felt behind from the moment I woke up. A little spark to get you moving in the right direction Then I did something that helped me change my mindset a bit -- enough to infuse a little positive energy and self-talk. The result is that I now have a little momentum to build upon to turn my day around and give 'my best' at a slightly higher level than I previously thought possible today. Knowing that I'm likely my own worst critic, and you probably are your own worst critic too, I went out to my LinkedIn profile and realized I have several Recommendations there. Recommendations on one's LinkedIn profile are from others you've worked with who have given a nice testimonial about you/your work. I read through a few, and it helped me realize that I am good at what I do. I do bring value to others. These people who I admire and respect have documented it for the world to see. Conclusion When you need a self-talk pick-me-up read a few of your LinkedIn Recommendations. Another approach is to keep a folder in your email account where you save positive emails from those you work with/for who thank you for a job well-done and read them periodically as affirmations that even though you may have some not-so-good-days, you have and will have good days. posted by: Nick Venturella I've been creating art (visual art, music and written works) in a professional sense for more than 20 years at this point.
While I've had dry spells at times (or had life events that required me to pull back on my art immersion), I've always chipped away at my artistic practice. I started more as a visual artist, before I owned a guitar, but I always associated music (if only in my head at those times) with the visuals I created. As I finally got my hands on a guitar my creativity expanded. I erupted with a creative explosion, prolifically writing songs and creating art inspired by the stories of emotions of those songs. Writing was always a backbone of both my visual and musical outlets as I believed (and still believe) that it's important for an artist to write well if for no other reason than to articulate his/her artistic vision and intentions to others. College is when I honed in on purposely expanding my creative horizons by further developing my writing abilities. In a societal and cultural sense (at least in the western world) there is a pressure to focus on, and get good at, one thing to forge your career. For me, I've always struggled mentally with this idea because I'm interested in constantly meddling in multiple art forms as each provides me different forms of inspiration to keep me creating. In fact, I feel most comfortable when I can develop a project that incorporates all of my main creative outlets -- music, art and writing. At times, over the years, I've held myself back by succumbing to the pressure of needing to focus on one art form. At first, I felt liberation -- I wanted the simplicity of only having to focus on one art form. I thought I could truly develop a distinct style and define my creative self if I only concentrate on one thing. However, after a little while it just drove me nuts. That's just not me. I need a more holistic approach. So in a pursuit over the years for my own style in one art form and/or genre I've realized my style is to be interdisciplinary in my approach to my creative output. Doing so has led to more success in my career -- my own personal creative career as well as the work I'm paid to create for businesses I work with (past and present). How about you? Let me know here. Posted by: Nick Venturella Last month I published a post that encouraged professionals and business owners to put a dollar value on their time.
I conducted a small survey with a handful of responses (certainly not scientific here), but it was interesting to read how much other professionals deem their time to be worth. I averaged the survey results up and out of its respondents the average professional believes their time is worth $262.50 per hour. So why was I interested in this? Personally, I freelance my skills and time as a contractor on many occasions, and it's always interesting to me the responses I get when I share how much I charge for my time, services and the overall value to the client of the service I provide. Just to be clear, often the response is negative...as in, I can't believe you are charging that (and trust me, my rates are average to low for the services I provide if said potential client went to a full-blown marketing agency). However, when that happens it's my opportunity to share how I create value for the client and their business far beyond the amount they pay me... ...and that's probably the bigger lesson here: if potential clients are not willing to pay you the price you've set forth you're either marketing to the wrong people, or you haven't justified your value to them and their business...or both. Back to the survey... The survey from last month was another way for me to validate to myself, and to prospective clients, why I might charge what I charge on an hourly basis (if the project is something where I am in fact charging for my time). The thought process was, if I could gather survey responses from a good cross-section of my target audience and identified among them how much (at least on average) they believe an hour of their time is worth, then I could align my hourly rate with a similar prospective client and further justify why I should be paid my price (again, you do absolutely have to be able to also present your value here). So, on average those in my target audience are suggesting their time is worth $262.50 per hour. If I presented an hourly rate that is more than a 50% off of their hourly rate (i.e. $130/hr.), wouldn't they be coming out ahead saving time and money? What's to complain about in that price or approach? Posted by Nick Venturella I just saw this infographic (above) on LinkedIn.
It depicts a graphical summary of Conor Neill's 2013 TEDx talk "Who would you bet on?" The 3 elements of personal success. (The original talk is available on the TEDx youtube channel here ). While the infographic covers a lot of information, I want to camp out a bit on that, 'Keep a Journal,' section. I'm talking about keeping a daily journal of your own free-writing. A journal for brainstorms of ideas, personal reflections, documented gratitude, frustrations, solutions to problems and even To-Do lists . It's one of the simplest advantages you can give yourself to be successful in your career and in your life. How's that? You ask? The act of writing what's on your mind, daily, allows you to articulate thoughts and feelings. Once those thoughts and feelings are out and documented on a page you can examine them a bit more objectively and learn to continue to do things that work for you and discontinue things that do not. Plus, psychologically, getting those thoughts and emotions out frees up some mental capacity to deal with other things. That makes you more productive. Beyond all of that , you get to know yourself. My wife and I always talk about the need to have a good relationship with yourself. Like any relationship you have to work at it. Daily writing is one way to work at having a positive relationship with yourself and increase your emotional intelligence. My suggestion is to wake up slightly early to allow yourself time to write. Spend at least 15 to 20 minutes writing in the morning -- it really does help you start your day off right. If you can spend about 30 to 45 minutes writing that's ideal, but we're all busy. The point here is to get consistent, even if you accidentally miss a day, get back on the horse the following day. My challenge to you is to do this morning writing for at least one entire month and experience for yourself how it makes you feel compared to when you weren't writing. Likely outcomes of this challenge are:
I hope you take the challenge and it serves you well. Good luck! Daily writing and the accumulated knowledge I gain over time from doing it has been one of my personal secret weapons to success. Posted by: Nick Venturella |
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